NewsTicker

March 4, 2009

As of Wednesday, March 4th, 8:06 PM: Near-corking incident leaves Jarves in fear of “lockdown” status for Jarf Den… Jarf Lauginhindlinghausen (J) calls for “level-headed clear thinking” in calling for a lockdown… last Jarf lockdown was imposed after mutiple corkings that left one Jarf without vision in November of 2008… Lauginhindlinghausen lifts Bat ban on Jarf Den in hopes of making Bats feel welcome… Anti-Jarf graffiti “scourge of the city according to prominent Jraves… Bat breathing assist rates at an all-time low according to new study… Laughlintown Jarves thinking of signing on to play rival Astoria Sivitsbirds and Long Island City MilesMen in a much-anticipated basketball contests next season… Randyman won’t let violence, homosexuality rumors deter his sold-out performances… more news as events warrant… stay tuned to Forsaken House News for updates.

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