Corks have been flying in what Bat and Jarf leaders are calling “the bloodiest day in Forsaken House history.”  Several Jarves and Bats have been wounded in corkings, and a Jarf was beaten with a glove.  Forsaken House DPS has reportedly been flooded with calls and concerns but will not intervene.  More as the story develops.

BREAKING

March 7, 2009

CONTINUING COVERAGE: RELATIVE CALM IN FORSAKEN HOUSE AS ALL SIDES RETREAT TO NATIVE TERRITORIES… BAT LEADER “SCREW THE TABS… WE ARE ALL NOW WARRIORS”… DPS DECLARES NO AREA SAFE; NO OFFICERS ON PATROL; MARTIAL LAW… CORKS LITTER DEN, HALLWAY, BAT CAVE… WITNESS: “THEY WERE ALL SO DRUNJ”…

BREAKING

March 7, 2009

DRUNKEN VIOLENCE EXPLODES IN FORSAKEN HOUSE… JARF CORKED OVER ONE DOZEN TIMES IN DEN… SNATES DEMAND EMIGRATION TO L.I.C. POWER STATION… FIERCE CORKFIGHT IN BAT CAVE, ONE BAT DOWN, JARF HIT… JRAFS EMERGE AND CORK BATS AT WILL IN HALLWAY, DEN, WEST DRESSER… DPS POWERLESS, REFUSES TO INTERVENE AS OFFICERS TAKE SIDES… ANARCHY REIGNS

In an online interview, an “off-the-record” Bat claimed an attack was imminent during one of the Randyman concerts on either Saturday or Sunday.  No comments have been made from any parties– Jarves, Snates, Bats or otherwise– regarding the incident.  Randyman has neither responded nor called a press conference regarding the matter thus far.  MAYES is expected in attendance for the concert.

The conversation en total:

X: can u keep something on the down lowFHN: yayaX: i heard some tabs are gonna cork randyman up as hes on stageFHN: this is a bad thingX: they’ll do anything to prove their bravado
No official word from DPS on tightened security, though residents should expect tightened security measures for both the  MAYES and Randyman visits slated for this weekend.

The following is a statement issued at 5 p.m. Wednesday afternoon by the Forsaken House Department of Public Safety. As a service to our readers and all citizens of Forsaken House, Forsaken House News presents the statement verbatim, in its entirety. This is in no way an editorial on behalf of FHN or in any way represents the views or opinions of FHN staff:
Citizens of Forsaken House,

Our great land has faced many stressors in its time. We have triumphed over adversity to accomplish a democracy whereby unity and co-habitation are not only law but the desire of each and every citizen. Unfortunately, recent events have attempted to undermine this communal ethos.

As you may know, ongoing sectarian violence has placed livelihood and productivity in harm’s way. You may also know that, at a time of unprecedented prosperity in FH, we cannot allow such a precarious position. Compounding this dilemma is the upcoming visit of MAYES, an event planned and hoped for by members from all walks of life in this fair territory.

On Wednesday morning, a series of events occurred which gives the DPS no choice but to enact swift and unfortunately sweeping reforms to ensure the safety of each citizen and visitor. Therefore, effective 6 p.m. Wednesday:

DPS will monitor the Jarf Den area and reserves the right to enter at any time.

Armed DPS constables will patrol all areas of FH at all hours. Any resident found armed with corks, caps or other instruments will be immediately taken into custody and subject to enveloping and/or shelving.

Snates must run smash diagnosis at the request of any DPS constable to ensure their protocol is intact.

DPS will maintain a checkpoint at North Hallway and Doorframe. Any residents passing through this area can and will be searched.

These initiatives will continue as necessary until further notice. DPS reminds all citizens that these measures are for their own safety. DPS maintains no bias, preconceived or otherwise to any citizen regardless of ethnicity. You will be treated fairly.

May we live in peace.

Department of Public Safety

Forsaken House

This story is developing. More details to follow shortly.

DPS radio traffic and witness reports indicate there has been a multiple corking in the Bat Cave area. Details are sketchy at this time. More news as it becomes available.