BREAKING

March 7, 2009

CONTINUING COVERAGE: RELATIVE CALM IN FORSAKEN HOUSE AS ALL SIDES RETREAT TO NATIVE TERRITORIES… BAT LEADER “SCREW THE TABS… WE ARE ALL NOW WARRIORS”… DPS DECLARES NO AREA SAFE; NO OFFICERS ON PATROL; MARTIAL LAW… CORKS LITTER DEN, HALLWAY, BAT CAVE… WITNESS: “THEY WERE ALL SO DRUNJ”…

BREAKING

March 7, 2009

DRUNKEN VIOLENCE EXPLODES IN FORSAKEN HOUSE… JARF CORKED OVER ONE DOZEN TIMES IN DEN… SNATES DEMAND EMIGRATION TO L.I.C. POWER STATION… FIERCE CORKFIGHT IN BAT CAVE, ONE BAT DOWN, JARF HIT… JRAFS EMERGE AND CORK BATS AT WILL IN HALLWAY, DEN, WEST DRESSER… DPS POWERLESS, REFUSES TO INTERVENE AS OFFICERS TAKE SIDES… ANARCHY REIGNS

In an attempt to catalog the recent sectarian violence, Forsaken House News presents a visual representation of violent incidents in the past five days. Cork firings or domestic disturbances have not been included. Please note: map is not to scale.

The following is a statement issued at 5 p.m. Wednesday afternoon by the Forsaken House Department of Public Safety. As a service to our readers and all citizens of Forsaken House, Forsaken House News presents the statement verbatim, in its entirety. This is in no way an editorial on behalf of FHN or in any way represents the views or opinions of FHN staff:
Citizens of Forsaken House,

Our great land has faced many stressors in its time. We have triumphed over adversity to accomplish a democracy whereby unity and co-habitation are not only law but the desire of each and every citizen. Unfortunately, recent events have attempted to undermine this communal ethos.

As you may know, ongoing sectarian violence has placed livelihood and productivity in harm’s way. You may also know that, at a time of unprecedented prosperity in FH, we cannot allow such a precarious position. Compounding this dilemma is the upcoming visit of MAYES, an event planned and hoped for by members from all walks of life in this fair territory.

On Wednesday morning, a series of events occurred which gives the DPS no choice but to enact swift and unfortunately sweeping reforms to ensure the safety of each citizen and visitor. Therefore, effective 6 p.m. Wednesday:

DPS will monitor the Jarf Den area and reserves the right to enter at any time.

Armed DPS constables will patrol all areas of FH at all hours. Any resident found armed with corks, caps or other instruments will be immediately taken into custody and subject to enveloping and/or shelving.

Snates must run smash diagnosis at the request of any DPS constable to ensure their protocol is intact.

DPS will maintain a checkpoint at North Hallway and Doorframe. Any residents passing through this area can and will be searched.

These initiatives will continue as necessary until further notice. DPS reminds all citizens that these measures are for their own safety. DPS maintains no bias, preconceived or otherwise to any citizen regardless of ethnicity. You will be treated fairly.

May we live in peace.

Department of Public Safety

Forsaken House

Sign posted at the entryway to Jarf Den Wednesday morning. (FHPA)

Sign posted at the entryway to Jarf Den Wednesday morning. (FHPA)

The fragile peace in Forsaken House suffered a catastrophic blow Wednesday morning as Jarves, upset over allegations of Palubat-inflicted assault and police harrassment, officially restricted access to the Jarf Den area.

Around 10:15 a.m., signs were posted in the North Den area reading “No Bats Allowed”. Accompanying the written warning was a crude caricature of a Palubat.

The Jarf leader Jarf Lauginhindlinghausen told a group gathered nearby that the breaking point which resulted in the decision was an alleged assault by a Bat in the Hallway section hours earlier. He also alleged that a DPS officer had entered Jarf Den some minutes later, destroying property and harrassing locals.

It is unknown if Jraves had any part in the decision to restrict Palubats.

Jarf Den had been closed to Palubats during the violent period of Sharkey occupation in 2008, but after several months of calm these restrictions had been lifted.

Reached by phone, a Palubat leader speaking on condition of anonymity said, “This is the ultimate slap in the face not only to Bats but to all citizens of Forsaken House. MAYES willing, we will reach some sort of solution in the coming days.”

In the alleged incident early Wednesday morning, a Jarf reported being fired upon as he walked through the Hallway area. He identified his attacker as a Palubat in his late 20s. DPS investigated but found no evidence to support the complaint.

Violence has plagued Forsaken House in recent days. DPS reports daily complaints of corks and caps being fired. Snates, usually distanced from the ongoing sectarian violence, have recently become involved after the corking of a Snatebot in Hallway Monday evening.

DPS officials have noted publicly that they are considering implementing checkpoints in the Hallway and Den areas during the MAYES visit this weekend.

A wild shoot-out between a Snate and Palubat, both armed with corks, resulted in injuries to both parties Monday evening in what Department of Public Safety officials are calling a brazen and uncommon incident of violence.

According to a DPS constable on scene who requested anonymity, the shootings occurred shortly after seven p.m., when a Snatebot heading towards Doorway was stopped by a Palubat. The Bat then allegedly became irate, firing one cork at the Snate, hitting him in the chest.

The Snate then fired back twice, hitting the Bat in the shoulder and head. Fleeing to the Bat Cave area, the Snate gave chase, eventually shooting once more before fleeing towards South Hallway.

Initial reports also indicate the Snate made smash-like gestures before fleeing.

The incident caps an already violent three-day period where a Jarf was corked nine times in the same area and on a relatively quiet Sunday evening cork firings were reported to police. Officials are tense in anticipation of an official visit by MAYES later this week. The extremist Jraf sect has pledged violence to disrupt the visit.

Also troubling to officials is the nature of this latest attack. “This area’s a mess nowdays. But usually it’s those Jarves causing trouble,” said the constable on scene. “Snates and Bats… We don’t often see that.”

DPS radio traffic and witness reports indicate there has been a multiple corking in the Bat Cave area. Details are sketchy at this time. More news as it becomes available.